Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
