How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
