his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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