Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
