just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
