you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
