I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
