Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
