I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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