Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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