Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
