Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
