I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
