Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize