I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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