And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
