R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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