yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
