Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
