You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize