You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
