sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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