Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
