what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
