i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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