I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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