1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
