Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
