She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
