You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
