I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
