Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
