Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
