Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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