This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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