I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
