I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
