suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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