What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
