She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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