fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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