We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
