My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
