Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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