Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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