hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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