The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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