Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
