where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
