you traded sex for a burrito?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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