i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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