He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
