you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize