Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
