At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
