in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
