Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
