'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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