do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize