I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
