So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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