Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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