How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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