Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize