Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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